Books

Average customer rating:

Vivid and captivating
A Vivid and Fulfilling Read
Captivating story!
Good, but not better than Indu Sundaresan's previous books
Excellent book

The Splendor of Silence: A Novel
Indu Sundaresan
Manufacturer: Atria
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

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ASIN: 0743283678

Book Description

Set in India during four searing pre-monsoon days in May 1942, The Splendor of Silence is internationally bestselling author Indu Sundaresan's most unforgettable accomplishment yet, merging her Indian and American backgrounds into a heartrending tale of love and clashing cultures in a time of war.

Sam Hawthorne, a twenty-five-year-old U.S. Army captain, arrives at the princely state of Rudrakot in search of his missing brother, Mike, carrying with him wounds from combat in Burma and several secrets. But Sam's mission is soon threatened by the unlikeliest of sources -- he falls hopelessly in love with Mila, daughter of the local political agent. Mila, unexpectedly attracted to Sam, nurtures a secret of her own and finds herself torn between loyalty to her family and Sam.

The Splendor of Silence opens twenty-one years later with Olivia, Sam's daughter, receiving a trunk of treasures from India, along with a letter from an unknown narrator that finally fills all the silences of her childhood -- telling her the story of her parents' passionate and enduring love for each other that throws them in the path of racial prejudice, nationalist intrigue, and the explosive circumstances of a country and a society on the brink of independence from British rule.

Sweeping and poignant, reminiscent of Paul Scott's Raj Quartet novels, The Splendor of Silence will draw a host of devoted new fans to this hugely gifted storyteller.

Customer Reviews:

Vivid and captivating.......2007-06-15

Being a big fan of her two previous books, I was looking forward to Sundaresan's new book. I wasn't disappointed. She is an amazing storyteller. This story takes you to a fictional region of Northwestern India, in May 1942. Sam Hawthorne is a US soldier on mission in Burma, who goes to Rudrakot to search for his missing brother. There he stays at the political agent's house, where he meets Mila. Mila is in love with Jai, the prince of Rudrakot, and is sure to marry him. Sam's presence in Rudrakot does not go unnoticed and causes a stir within the political and military circles, as well as within Mila's house and Mila herself, and it will have repercussions long after the 4 days are over. This whirlwind of a story tackles many topics, all relevant to understand the period and the conflicts within the characters: the effects of the British presence in India, the nationalist movement, politics, racism, young people coming of age, family relations, the social system in India and between Indians/ British, history. Sundaresan does a great job with this story which will stay with you a long time after you finish the last line. Highly recommended.

A Vivid and Fulfilling Read.......2007-05-13

For avid readers of historical fiction, Indu Sundaresan's latest book is a jewel. With elements of adventure, espionage and romance weaved into the story, you are left wanting more and yet, satisfied with the story's ending. The book paints a vivid picture of a world war two era city in India where an American soldier goes to look for his missing brother and in the course of a few days comes away with much more than he expected and leaves behind consequences that reverberate years after.

Captivating story!.......2007-01-09

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book. The captivating story is excellently narrated with so much ease by the author! I could not keep aside the book until I finished it. It's long since I have read such an intriguing historical novel based in India.

Good, but not better than Indu Sundaresan's previous books.......2007-01-03

This book is decent, but definitely pales in comparison to either "The Twentieth Wife", or "A Feast of Roses", both of which are among my favourite books ever. While the book is written well and eventually captivates a reader, the plot takes a while to unfold, and at times seems a little dull. Sundaresan however, still strikes me as a wonderful author and I look forward to reading her books for years to come!

Excellent book.......2006-10-16

The Splendor of Silence was a book that I could not put down and at the same time I did not want to end. Indu Sundaresan weaves historical information into a beautifullly written novel that has you truly caring what happens to the characters. I highly recommend this book along with the Feast of Roses.

Average customer rating:

Civil War affair
awesome
Too long
This Southerner Couldn't Put It Down...
Agree with "Missed the Mark"

Words Heard in Silence
T. Novan , and Taylor Rickard
Manufacturer: Cavalier Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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ASIN: 097462103X

Product Description

Historical Drama. Culpeper, Virginia in the fall of 1864 was at a dark time in this once bustling town. Feisty Rebecca Gaines, widowed by the conflict that had torn the nation apart, struggles to single-handedly manage the family farm. Life is hard in the beleaguered South, so when a troop of Union soldiers rides in to winter over on her property, Rebecca is grudgingly glad of the extra income. Their dashing commander officer, Colonel Charlie Redmond, is courteous and gentle in his dealings with her, and she is drawn to this intriguing professional soldier. But he is still the enemy, and Rebecca finds it difficult to come to terms with her feelings. For his part, Charlie is alarmed to realize he is romantically involved with the lovely Southerner, for he hides a secret that, if discovered, would mean social disgrace and the end of a distinguished military career. For Charlie is a woman.

Customer Reviews:

Civil War affair.......2006-08-01

I love history mixed with romance.

Colonel Redman's Union troops decide to camp on Rebecca Gaines land. Rebecca and Charlie become good friends and lovers.

The town folks are up in arms about having the Yankees camping out in their territory. Charlie has his troops help the town folk and some of them even end of marrying some of the widowed women folk.

Charlie's disguise is good and with the help of a few friends and Rebecca, he/she continues to fool the US government, the Army, his troops and the enemy.

Fantastic read!!!!!!!!!!!!!

awesome.......2006-03-16

once i started reading i couldn't put it down. yes, it's long but totally worth reading.

Too long.......2005-06-25

This book isn't really good enough for 4 stars, but it isn't as bad as 3. If I could give it a 3.5, I would.

The idea behind this book is a good one and the general plot is well done. But there is too much extra stuff (the adopted kids and the endless accounts of repairs are just two).

I kept reading because I wanted to finish the book, but I don't know if I will want to ever reread this one.

If you like historical romance and can stand long, flowery passages, you will probably enjoy this book. If you like more straight-forward writing, don't bother.

This Southerner Couldn't Put It Down..........2004-11-17

I am a huge fan of T. Novan's books and have read everything she has published. This one is a definite DON'T MISS!

I couldn't put it down and finished this 550 page book in two days. Colonel Charlie Redmond and his Yankee troops make camp on property owned by Souther widow Rebecca Gaines. Rebecca is impressed by this "gentleman" and is shocked to learn "he" is really a "she." As their relationship develops, Charlie is not sure whether Rebecca has fallen in love with the man or the woman. With the support of the few people who know his secret, Charlie is able to come to terms with his new feelings and accept Rebecca's love for him.

Because this book was loosely based on actual historical facts, I learned some things about the Civil War I had not known before. I even looked up some of the events and people in the book and found the book to be historically accurate. The fiction part of the story was just as good and I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to lose themself in the past.

Agree with "Missed the Mark".......2004-09-27

Couldn't have said it better myself. I received this book with eager anticipation. But after the first 100 pages of hoping the action would pick up, it never did.

After 200-pages I didn't have trouble putting it down, only picking it up.

After 300-pages I began to skip over sections at a time, only to find more of the same "I love you so much darling"s and the ever popular "I'm not good enough for you, Darling"s, etc., etc.

The only exciting incidents are not even given to the reader 1st hand and don't expect to get even an inkling of sex in this book. Toward the end, almost as an afterthought, at least we do get about 2-3 pages of an actual battle scene and then the war is over (of course it is).

The whole book is just WAY too unbelievable and perfect.

The hero does nothing for the whole book but bustle around his (also perfect)Union troops being a caring, fatherly type. PULEEEESSSEEE!!! (gagging sounds) The biggest crisis was their not being able to get good boots or having a fist fight!

Of course, in the end they are married, have 3-children, a beautiful home and live happily ever after.

Besides that, there's not one contraction in the entire book, which becomes irritating after the 1st few pages.

Too bad, it had the looks of a strong story. This book should be re-titled "Yet Another Drivelly Domestication of Two Potentially Heroic and Exciting Women"

Silence Transformed into Life: The Testament of His Final Year

Average customer rating:

Silence Transformed into Life: The Testament of His Final Year
Pope John Paul II
Manufacturer: New City Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

General | Religion & Spirituality | Subjects | Books

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ASIN: 1565482379

Average customer rating:

nothing to fear from this book
Take it with a grain of skepticism.
not justifying just understanding
Mixed feelings
A great book that does NOT advocate affairs

The Erotic Silence of the American Wife
Dalma Heyn
Manufacturer: Signet
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Contemporary | General | Literature & Fiction | Subjects | Books

New Other Woman
The Ship That Sailed into the Living Room: Sex and Intimacy Reconsidered
Marriage Shock: The Transformation of Women into Wives
Drama Kings: The Men Who Drive Strong Women Crazy
Against Love: A Polemic

ASIN: 0451176200

Customer Reviews:

nothing to fear from this book.......2006-05-23

First of all I agree with the reviewers who do not perceive this book as a threat to marriage, or to fidelity. Rather, what this book does is help women understand some very difficult and painful emotions that may come up within a long term relationship. I agree, that if anything, she is trying to help women make their relationships better, not by having affairs, but by trying to help them understand their emotional unhappiness, so they may work with their partners to improve their relationships, together, rather than seeking out relationships outside of their primary relationship. It is only very insecure people who are threatened by this book. Knowledge is not dangerous, but rather it is ignorance that is dangerous.

Take it with a grain of skepticism........2006-01-02

Delma raises the issue of how women lose their sense of self and sensuality in marriage because of how they live what she calls the delusion of the perfect wife. [The reader is left with nothing on how many women actually find happiness in marriage, as if it doesn't happen.] The book then goes into individual stories that reflect how these women rediscover and re-empower themselves through infidelity. These stories read like segments from an exploitive woman's magazine reaching for ratings by describing those encounters in explicit sexual detail. While it doesn't linger on those details, it is obvious there is an awareness of "Sex Sells" in her approach to relating their stories; a big surprise in a book coming from a former columnist that made her living writing sex advice for a magazine. One wonders if she could have sold any copies without the inclusion of personal stories and exploitation of the women she was supposedly enlightening.

The data is disqualified as limited, and she takes care to present the work as her personal learning from the interviews and not statistically representative and yet she then presents it as if it were. In this country a writer could find ten or twelve people that would give personal stories on any concept and how doing just about anything from praying to the moon to running naked through New York City changed their lives. Delma simply uses the act of infidelity as a personal growth tool for women because it sells. Not recognizing how the limits of her data or how the obscurity of the infidelity solution offered make this book dangerous for the immature or gullible reader; most others will dismiss it.

What she fails to expound upon at length are the ramifications of infidelity as a vicious and painful scar on the women's lives and the lives of the people that love them after having made this decision to cheat. She never once recognizes the ramifications for children or the families of the men they cheated with, nor does she recognize how the stories of these infidelities will affect the future men in their lives. She simply discusses whether they should tell or not tell and how most of the time the act of telling was detrimental.

All in all, I see this as a cheap way to sell books and a sad way to council women on finding self respect or self worth.

not justifying just understanding .......2005-12-30

I am a married woman in my late twenties and for the record I am not having an affair and never plan to cheat on my husband. however in reading this book I don't think the author was trying to justify affairs as much as make me understand why these particular women and ultimately the women she had conversations with ended up in such a place in thier marriage - so maybe I could avoid the same pitfalls. In reading about these women I found alot of common ground in how they felt about how they ended up in the space they occupy. How Society influenced the way they viewed marriage and altered the way the approached marriage in general - i highly recomend young newlywed women read this book - to help them understand some of the pitfalls you can find in marriage , to help them avoid walking into a situation that is completely avoidable, I don't mean avoiding the marriage i mean avoiding unspoken expectations by being aware of them and speaking about them. This book doesn't offer much by the way of solutions and thats okay - there are a zillion books out there that do that - but it does offer an very valuable view into womens thinking and response to marriage. Read it and learn from it,

Mixed feelings.......2005-11-03

I must say I overall enjoyed reading The Erotic Silence of the American Wife. The stories of the women featured are interesting, and Dalma Heyn takes care not to be judgmental. She also challenges some of the myths about women's foray into the world of extramarital sex: that adulterous women are "bad," that affairs will destroy them emotionally (as they do in books like Anna Karenina), etcetera. On the other hand, I was left with some troubling questions. For instance, though to her credit Heyn states that her book is not scientific, I couldn't help but notice that some of her conclusions went against actual scientific surveys of women having extramarital affairs. Heyn writes that in choosing an extramarital partner, women don't look at the man's social status, education, etcetera. However, scientific studies show that when they have affairs, women tend to pair off with men who enjoy higher social status than their husbands. Thus despite their "liberated" veneer, adulterous women may not be as egalitarian as Heyn portrays them to be. As well, though she tries to explode the "myth" that happily married women don't cheat, the examples of the women she depicts don't support her thesis. All of the three principal women featured had something "missing" from their marriage. One woman's marriage had become basically asexual. Another woman, a sexual adventurer before her marriage, didn't think her husband was passionate enough. The third claimed she and her husband lacked communication in their marriage and eventually divorced. So it's unclear whether Heyn's work would apply to women who are happily married; judging from the examples she gives, it seems that affairs really are the resort of unhappily partnered women. So while the personal accounts of these women are interesting, in my view the book really doesn't give any powerful new insight on women's sexuality.

A great book that does NOT advocate affairs.......2005-04-16

Don't be misled by the unhappy reviewers here - they have their personal reasons for not liking this book but are missing the big picture. The women in these pages did NOT find it easy to have affairs - rather, they struggled mightily with morals, conscience, and selfhood, and found that it is a life and death struggle with many consequences. Ms. Heyn presents their stories with something sorely missing in our culture - a lack of judgment and a compassionate interest in understanding behavior rather than automatically condemning it because it's uncomfortable. Every one of us has some shame and secrets - wouldn't you rather be understood for your "imperfections" rather than treated harshly? It is a threatening thing, to challenge the codes of marriage and culture. Much easier to hand out a Scarlet Letter than to take the time to think and understand.

Sounds of Silence (The Texas Gatekeepers #2) (Steeple Hill Love Inspired Suspense)

Average customer rating:

A sweet and thrilling inspirational romance

Sounds of Silence (The Texas Gatekeepers #2) (Steeple Hill Love Inspired Suspense)
Elizabeth White
Manufacturer: Steeple Hill
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Mass Market Paperback

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ASIN: 0373442270

Book Description

Silent Witness

Border Patrol agent Eli Carmichael knew the deaf child he'd found outside a Mexican orphanage was harboring a dark secret -- she was carrying a bloodstained knife and was clearly traumatized. To keep her safe, he turned to trusted neighbor Isabel Valenzuela. A sense of duty had kept Eli close to his fellow agent's widow and her young son over the past year, and now Eli was spending more time with Isabel and the kids, trying to determine exactly what the girl had seen. Under Isabel's gentle care, the child began to open up. But the killers were close by, and determined to silence the girl forever . . .

Customer Reviews:

A sweet and thrilling inspirational romance.......2006-02-11

Courtesy of Love Romances

The Texas Gatekeepers series continues with the sweet and thrilling Sounds of Silence.

Eli Carmichael is dealing with the fallout from discovering his father was a "dirty cop." While down in Mexico assisting at an orphanage as a mission from his church, he comes across a young deaf girl who clearly has been through the wringer. The poor girl doesn't speak, is missing one shoe and carrying a bloody knife. She obviously saw something terrible and is afraid to reveal her secret.

So Eli decides to go to his neighbor, the widow Isabel Valenzuela, for help. Her husband was killed as a direct result of Eli's father so a sense of obligation and duty has kept Eli close by to help Isabel when he could. He knows Isabel is exactly what the little girl needs to open up about what she saw and it also gives him an excuse to spend even more time with Isabel. Just as something seems to be sparking between Isabel and Eli danger beckons when the killer discovers where they are. Now Eli's job is to protect Isabel and her little family at any cost. But can Isabel come to terms with the fact he's in the same line of work that got her beloved husband killed? Can their faith and love overcome the odds stacked against them?

Elizabeth White tells another wonderful story of faith in God and love for one another with Sounds of Silence. Isabel and Eli are defined by their beliefs and that colors everything they think and do. This comes across on every page of the book, and in the relationships between the characters. The author shows that trust in God is more important than anything and that same faith can overcome anything and bring about little miracles every day.

Eli's sense of duty is what initially brings him closer to Isabel, but he comes to realize she is a brave, beautiful woman with a kind soul and he will do almost anything to make her happy. Isabel has struggled since her husband died, but her inner strength sees her through it all, and brings her to care for Eli more than she expected. But she needs to come to terms with his career and learns that if she gives her fears over to God, He'll see her through everything, even her fears about Eli's safety.

Danilo, Isabel's son and Mercedes, the deaf witness, are delightful children and are bound to steal the show whenever they make an appearance. It is often through them that readers will fully understand how much of an impact faith has on every day life. Mercedes has been through so much in her young life, but she is resilient and blossoms under Isabel and Eli's care. Readers of the first book in the miniseries will be happy to get to visit again with at least one character from that novel.

Suspense is well done and Ms. White is brilliant in how she increases this element through the eyes of little Mercedes. Readers really get in to the child's mind and see the unfolding of events through her perspective, understanding how things can be so much more frightening when she can't hear a thing. The events leading up to the final confrontation are taut with emotion and bound to carry readers along for the ride.

© Kelley A. Hartsell, December 2005. All rights reserved.

Silence Broken: Moving from a Loss of Innocence to a World of Healing and Love

Average customer rating:

Very moving
truth be told
Amazing stories of hope for abused children

Silence Broken: Moving from a Loss of Innocence to a World of Healing and Love
Sara O'Meara , and Yvonne Fedderson
Manufacturer: Jodere Group
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

General | Self-Help | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

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ASIN: 1588720659
Release Date: 2003-10-01

Book Description

After witnessing his parents murder his sister, a little boy became totally silent. He was placed in 15 different foster homes before being sent to the Childhelp USA village. No matter how hard they tried, the staff was unable to get the little boy to speak. Finally, the man in charge of the village's animal therapy program took the little boy to the barn and told him that "Chocolate," a pony, was now his responsibility. Everyday, the little boy ran to the barn to take care of Chocolate. On the fifth day, he put his arms around the pony and said, "I love you." Once his silence had been broken, the boy rapidly began to heal. This story is but one from a lifetime of work of two women, Sara O'Meara and Yvonne Fedderson. As the girlfriends of David and Ricky on the hit TV show Ozzie and Harriet, they could never have realized how they were meant to serve children around the world suffering from isolation, despair, neglect, and abandonment. Today, some 40 years and many miracles later, Childhlep USA is one of the oldest and largest of nonprofit organizations in America dealing with child abuse and neglect. This book - told through the voices of the founders, victims, and associates of Childhelp USA - is truly a journey from tragedy to triumph. The resiliency of both these women and the children they have touched with their love is a lesson for us all.

Customer Reviews:

Very moving.......2006-01-10

This book is excellent. A definite eye-opener to child abuse in the USA. I work for Childhelp USA and know first hand what these children endure at the hands of their care givers - people they trust. Sara and Yvonne are wonderful, caring people. Add this book to your wish list.

truth be told.......2004-04-29

This is an excellent book that tells the true story of abused children. It is an excellent read that will open your eyes to what is happening around us every day. It ranks up there with several books that have helped me to heal, namely: NIGHTMARES ECHO,COURAGE TO HEAL and SECRET SURVIVORS.
If you do nothing else for the children of the world, read and learn from these books.

Amazing stories of hope for abused children.......2003-11-25

The plight of abused children could easily depress any feeling person. Luckily, SILENCE BROKEN offers true stories that remind us that loving, caring help is available to the children fortunate enough to come into the world of CHILDHELP USA. I highly recommend this book to anyone who cares about children.

Silence, Solitude, Simplicity: A Hermit's Love Affair with a Noisy, Crowded, and Complicated World

Average customer rating:

Helps Readers Appreciate Value of Desert Experience

Silence, Solitude, Simplicity: A Hermit's Love Affair with a Noisy, Crowded, and Complicated World
Jeremy Hall
Manufacturer: Liturgical Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Monasticism | Christianity | Religion & Spirituality | Subjects | Books

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ASIN: 0814631851

Book Description

"We all need God," Sister Jeremy says in her first sentence, and readers of all sorts will find here a warm and practical address to that need. The monastic way is not forsaking the world, but for the sake of the world, and Sister Jeremy's Benedictine wisdom is fundamental human wisdom. Her book is the fruit of decades of practice, and the spiritual journey she recounts is nobody's but hers--which makes it, paradoxically, something from which everyone can learn. She shows how a monastic is not on a pedestal or behind a wall, but right in the thick of things with all of us.

Customer Reviews:

Helps Readers Appreciate Value of Desert Experience.......2007-06-29

Sister Jeremy Hall defines spirituality as "our being-before-God and how this works out in al aspects of our lives: our self-understanding, our values, our relationships, our commitments, our prayer, our work, our leisure, our goals and the means we use to achieve them." A member of the Benedictine order with a doctorate in Theology, born in 1918, Sister Jeremy lived as a hermit for twenty years of her life. It is that experience as a hermit that informs "Silence, Solitude, Simplicity: A Hermit's Love Affair with a Noisy, Crowded, and Complicated World."

Sister Jeremy speaks of the desert experience which all of us go through at some point in our lives. While we may not physically go to a desert to live, we all are tested by the dryness of life. At those times, we are "challenged, purified, to become aware of my frailty and God's strength, of my infidelity and God's unending faithfulness, to be healed of my enslavements and set free at the heart of my being, to learn to trust deeply in the God of promises." The desert is not a destination, but rather a place to get through in order to reach a land of promise, as Moses and the Israelites did in the Hebrew Scriptures. The journey may be long and arduous but there is a reward on the other side.

Sister Jeremy also speaks of the value of silence. Silence should not be pursued for its own sake. Indeed, there are definitely times when speech is more appropriate. Silence actually shows a reverence for speech in that it allows one to truly listen to the other. Silence is "a positive receptivity, a creative waiting, a welcoming openness. It is openness to God, to our deepest selves, to others, both as individual persons and as the human community, to beauty and truth and goodness, to mystery - and to the word of Scripture that reveals God, and to the Word who is God's Son." Sister Jeremy reflects on how maintaining silence forces you to actually listen to your own thoughts which at times can be an unpleasant reality. Silence forces you to listen to yourself as you truly are. It provides self-knowledge to begin working on your faults.

Contrary to what one may think, embracing solitude, even as a hermit, is not a rejection of the world at large. "The person who embraces true solitude, either at certain times, or as a way of life, is not running away from, nor rejecting anyone. Rather, such a person is making room within, is preparing to welcome someone - God, others, self. It is a positive choice, ... and it is for a positive goal." God seems to be calling more and more people to lives of solitude. Hermits, practicing a way of life which has not been greatly embraced since the sixteenth century, are growing in number. Even those who cannot make such an extreme commitment to solitude are seeking it in smaller doses through retreats. Solitude often then leads to greater service. Once the well has been filled with the Spirit, there is more to offer to others. "Every Christian solitary, whether living in a hermitage for a long time or going to a quiet place now and again for some desert time, has to discern, with prayer, in grace, and often with the help of another, the right personal balance between solitude and service."

So, too, are more and more people embracing simplicity in their lives. "Jesus says forcefully that genuine disciples shouldn't be preoccupied with wanting things. . . .Don't worry about food, drink, and clothing . . . certainly not with more than is needed to live decently." Sister Jeremy goes on to discuss American icon Henry David Thoreau who "chose simplicity as the most deeply human way to live."

Embracing the desert experience of silence, solitude, and simplicity helps to open ourselves to God and others. Sister Jeremy helps readers appreciate the value of the journey.

Average customer rating:

A Good Place To Start
Celibacy and marriage

Celibate Wives: Breaking the Silence
Joan Avna , and Diana Waltz
Manufacturer: Lowell House
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

General | Recovery | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

Customer Reviews:

A Good Place To Start.......2000-11-06

Every woman in this book expected frequent and fulfilling sex in her marriage. But they have been in sexless marriages from 5, 10, even 20 years. Joan Avna and Diana Waltz were inundated with responses from women who kept their embarrassing secret for years while they were writing Celibate Wives.

Women blame themselves first. They felt the problem was their responsibility to fix. And they all felt they had the power to change their husbands. Some of their stories were striking:

He'd say, "Don't touch me; get away from me." We on sleeping in the same bed. There were times when I would reach for him and he would kick my legs hard. I just accepted what he did. I think I felt I didn't deserve better.

I fell nobody gets a free ride in life. We don't have everything we want, and if sex is what we lose in order for him to stay healthy a few more years, my God, it's a small price to pay.

Adjusting to a new city, my husband gone a lot, plus the illness of my daughter, overwhelmed me to the point where having sex was the last thing I wanted to do.

There are numerous reasons why a marriage may be come sexless. Illness is one. Certain surgeries or medications make sex difficult. However there are other marriages in which half the time the husband calls it quits and the wife is left without a reason.

Avna and Waltz's interviewees listed a wide range of reasons why sex ended:

1. Mismatched sex drives, one partner having a higher or lower drive than the other, also known as desire discrepancy disorder (DDD). 2. Infidelity, once or repeated times 3. Emotional, verbal or physical abuse 4. Illness, whether physical or mental. 5. Celibacy freely chosen as a means toward spiritual growth 6. Loss of respect for a spouse 7. Same-sex preference acknowledged 8. Inhibited sexual desire (ISD), loss of interest in sex due to life change or crisis 9. Fear of intimacy 10. Low sex drive shared by both partners

When celibacy is not the choice of the wife she mourns the loss of a meaningful part of her life. The often go through a period of overwhelming emotions that puzzles and frightens them. At times they rage with anger, cry in despair, or so depressed they feel themselves just crawling through life without the energy for normal activites.

These are the normal stages of grief that Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross introduced to society in the 1970's. She identified the five stages of grieving as denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. The lose of sex in your life is akin to the loss of a vital part of yourself.

Celibate Wives does offer solutions to the problems. How to work on your sex life. When to decide to leave. What to do if you decide to stay.

The most important part is to break away from denial and face that the problem exists. Women are sexual beings. They have a right to feel as they do.

Finding a friendly forum in which to share your feelings may help some women. Your local church, community center, women's center, or YWCA might be willing to start a celibate wives self help group. Talking and offering support is very important to a woman in a celibate marriage. Reading Celibate Wives, by Ana and Waltz is a place to start.

Celibacy and marriage.......2000-07-13

Every woman expects frequent, fulfilling sex in her marriage, but celibacy in a marriage is more common than you think. Avna and Waltz give three solutions for celibate marriages: putting the sex back into marriage, leaving a loveless marriage, and staying in a celibate, but otherwise fulfilling relationship.

The book shows women where they can turn for help, and helps bring you to point where you feel comfortable making a decision about your marriage.

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David is one of the finest poets of his generation.

Silences for Love (Vox Humana)
David Cope
Manufacturer: Humana Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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Book Description

David Cope's fifth book, Silences for Love, is framed in elegies, prophet Martin King to old friend Allen Ginsberg, opening with lights fading & flaring over Lake Superior, closing with one leaf in the hidden meadow. Here are the weary traveler & one-eyed boy, Gettysburg sundown, sighs over Sarajevo & massacre at the Patriarch's tomb, snowstorm canoe trip ending with a brother beneath Northern Lights-deaths & weddings, reunions in companion love, Oklahoma City trail of tears, asking blessing to learn healing. Here too are long silence & welcome home: in aging harlequin & his gypsy, in the runes of the Two-Hearted River, in dreams & visions going & coming, memory of a lost friend trapped on corpse detail, rush hour traffic jam, old bridge & hidden meadow, snowstorm near-death car crash, old friend fired hence with a last call for love, free clothes, & newly unfurling leaf.
Silences for Love also offers "skillful technique, attention to minute particulars & variable foot," continuing to extend the demotic traditions of American poetry established by Walt Whitman, William Carlos Williams, and Charles Reznikoff.

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David is one of the finest poets of his generation........1999-07-22

The growing skill, insight, tenderness & compassion of this lovely poet are abundantly evident in this collection. Everything radiates out of his sense of self within his family, & he extends that care & committment to the family of humankind. He is a scholar, but also a man who loves, works with his hands & still looks at the sky with wonderment.

Bob Rixon, WFMU-FM, Jersey City

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A Silence in the Heart (Love Inspired)
Carolyne Aarsen
Manufacturer: Steeple Hill
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Mass Market Paperback

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